If the Zombie Apocalypse Came Today

-Disclaimer: As creative as you may be in trying to be offended, the word “zombie” and “life-challenged” does not imply or mean to imply similarity to your chosen group of “victims” in today’s society. This is merely for good fun and humor with no resemblance to real life… or the dead.-



If the zombie apocalypse came today, here is how I would see things going down:

-The Federal Government would declare zombies to be a special protected class.

-All zombies would be registered to vote.

-The word “zombie” would be considered offensive and would be declared hate speech.

-The Federal Government would establish a Zombie Czar to oversee the Department of Life-Challenged Affairs.

-The official government cause of the zombie apocalypse, despite evidence strongly suggesting the contrary, would be climate change.

-All Americans not in a protected class would be told to “give your fair share,” and let a zombie take a bite.

-Citizens defending themselves from zombies with guns would trigger a new call for gun control.

-Zombie attacks would be scrubbed from news reports and replaced with stories where “extremist” Americans who eat at Chik-Fil-A and shop at Hobby Lobby were perpetrating acts of violence against the poor, defenseless life-challenged individuals.

-Zombies would take over all major colleges and universities. (Oh, wait, that already happened)

-Zombies would vote in their own representatives and take over the government. (That too.)

-Zombies would… well, now that I think about it, I think the zombie apocalypse may have already started…

Spread the word. Share this post!

Comments (1)

  1. Avatar

    Jeffrey Perdue


    Great synopsis! Unfortunately, I agree with your conclusion: the Zombie Apocolypse has definitely begun! (Absolutely love your books BTW!)

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: